So now that “Big Girls Don’t Cry” (perched this past week at #3) is Fergie’s second-biggest single from The Dutchess, can I just say how much the line “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket” bothers me? Not just because Everything But the Girl rocked a far more lovely and potent metaphor for missing someone, but good God, that “their” just screams to be fixed. I know it’s increasingly treated as standard spoken English, and I’m not saying she should get all proper with a clunky “his or her,” but what about just “her”? It makes the image more specific, anyway, like maybe that child is Lil’ Stacy Ferguson and her present-day longing is compounded by some wistful memory of youth. Shit, even “its” would do.
Even notwithstanding this grammatical mishap, I prefer the two singles that didn’t crack the top five. The electro spelling bee “Fergalicious” and the lush, fame-dizzy “Glamorous” (the latter of which reminds me of “Cool” and “Luxurious,” those two underrated late singles from Gwen Stefani’s first album) both trump the treacly “Big Girls” and the squawky “London Bridge” any day.
EDIT: In comments below, Al Shipley schools me on the actual Fergie chart positions, which for some reason I was remembering all wrong. “Glamorous” reached #1 and “Fergalicious” #2.